I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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