It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
