it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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