I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
