The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
