His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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