I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
