id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
