He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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