so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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