Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
