I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
