great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
