You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
