Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
