If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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