she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
