Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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