dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
