Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
