Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
