I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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