Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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