im drinking this country out of the recession.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
