Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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