Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You left your phone here
Wait...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
