I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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