I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
