my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
