when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
