Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
