Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
