I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
