So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
