I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
