drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
