you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
