found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
