I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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