is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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