I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
