The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
