i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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