He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
