This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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