Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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