It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize