Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
