The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
two words...techno handjob
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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