ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
